0630 Yoga

The alarm rings at 6:30 AM . On a perfect day I actually hear it, and we wake up and do yoga for an hour.

The yoga taught here is much different from the ab-crunching, back-bending, room-heating versions you can find in the United States: it’s just a series of “sun salutations” (Surya Namaskara) and coordinated breathing and body movements directed to the rising sun. At first, the motions felt awkward and ineffective. But now, the more I do, the easier and harder it gets. The easier part comes as the motions begin to feel more natural, more fluid, and as I become stronger. The harder part comes as it takes all my attention just to blend body and breath. Often now I emerge from ten or fifteen cycles, not realizing how hard I have been working—I am surprised to feel hot sweat on my brow and the rush of air going urgently, deeply, into my belly.

The other day, as I was ending the session in the most restful but morbidly-named “corpse pose” (Shavasana), I kept being distracted by a nagging hunger. I tried to focus on my breaths, but the hunger screamed at me. I tried to send my mind to my toes, but the hunger yanked it back to my abdomen instead. Exasperated, I gave in and focused on the distraction at play. But as I went wandering through the cavities and entrails of my digestive system, the hunger just…disappeared. It was not a pain in my stomach; it was not a contraction of my pylorus; no, it was not a hormone called ghrelin circulating in my veins. Whenever I challenged the hunger to show itself as a real, identifiable, localizable thing, it diffused out of existence. With my mind thus guarding the hunger, the next five minutes of Shavasana were peaceful.

This confrontation with hunger led me to a realization: I can control internally-generated problems, perhaps both real and imaginary, with mental focus. Set to work on bigger and more disabling worries—like self-doubt and self-criticism—mental control could become one’s greatest enabler. …But this is a huge project for a longer time. As I opened my eyes and rolled out of Shavasana, my focus waned and hunger returned. Relaxed, awake, and excited by my new experience, my tummy rumbled and I was ready for breakfast!