Most of you know me pretty well, and most of you know that I love lists. So, it should be no surprise that I’ve been keeping lists of just about everything: lists about what I see, do, eat, want to do, need to pack, have to learn, etc. Most are obvious, obsessive, and get lost anyway. But here’s one list that is worth keeping and sharing:
List #5: What different animals do when you almost run over them
1. Monkey -- will bound like a kangaroo, dangerously right in front of the vehicle, and then lob itself right up a tree. Really looks like a kangie until it jumps so high! Seems to enjoy the sport.
2. Wild boar -- will flop down in the middle of the road as all four legs collapse under him, then scramble up on his wobbly back legs, unsuccessfully try to push off several times, and eventually hobble or roll over the side of the road just in the nick of time. I feel sorry for him!
3. Sheep -- will run fast to the other side, gather in a flock, and all piss uncontrollably. Just a bundle of nerves, poor guys. Sad, but hilarious!
4. Goats -- will run in front of the vehicle without looking either way, even if their friend just got nearly hit. Silly billy.
5. Cow -- will face you head-on and won’t budge a bit. Holy cow, it knows it’s holy.
6. Humans in an oncoming car -- will play chicken with you while honking at 0.5-3 Hz. Watch out!
7. Chickens -- amazingly, don’t know yet. And I thought they loved crossing roads…
I’ve also seen a cow sucking its own udder. Weeeeeird! Not a list; just had to tell you guys about that one.
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